you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
