Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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