woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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