she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
