I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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