Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
