the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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