I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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