Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
