how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize