id be glad to
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
