i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
