I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
