My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
