whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
