sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
