I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
