I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
