how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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