He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am full of burrito and curiosity
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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