He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he fucked my hip out of place.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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