Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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