i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
