i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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