The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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