Duck Duck Cougar?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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