I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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