I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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