on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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