She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
last night I used snow as a chaser
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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