Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
