I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
