note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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