woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
