Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
