you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
