she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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