Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
