Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize