I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
