just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I touched a dick in church today
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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