I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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