ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
