Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
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Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
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I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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