she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
