So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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