I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
