The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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