I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm both gender and math confused
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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