i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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