haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
