he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
