I faked an abortion last night.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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