You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
