My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
