All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
