I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
