do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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